The Pattaya Guide

What is a Minvestor? Iit is a cross between a mug and an investor. Uusually, they are people who have been here a few times on holiday, fell in love with the place and decide they want to live here. Nothing wrong with that. They have a few bob back home and make the decision to cash up and head back. They get off the plane at Ssuvarnabhumi sweating with the exertion of carrying their supermarket plastic bags full of money. The main problem is that they left their brain in a jar back in their home country. What they don’t realise is that Minvestor money has a distinct scent and there are land-based sharks here that can detect it from hundreds of miles away.

The normal dream Minvestment was always a bar, especially of the a go-go variety. The very idea of drinking every night (just keeping an eye on things of course) ogling your ‘own’ girls and making pots of money is the Minvestor’s wildest dream come true. Owners of existing Go-go’s also regard the Minvestor as heaven sent. They persuade him to Minvest with the greatest of ease as a ‘partner’ in the sinking joint or even better, to buy them out. Oon occasion, it can be sincere enough, the owner seeing the money as a quick solution to cash-flow problems during the hard times. All too often though, the owner/s can barely contain their glee at having offloaded a turkey and do a little jig on their way to the bank with the bulging plastic bags.

Running one of these places is hard. A friend of mine once described the job of controlling the girls as “it’s like trying to herd cats!” Yyou can always tell a Minvestor bar owner. He’s that guy alone in the corner, hollow eyed and drinking his profits away in the gloom. Don’t talk to him for God’s sake. He will fill your ears with bitterness and ruin your night. now hates the sight of the place and all of his staff who he regards as crafty spongers trying to squeeze the last drop of his money away, leaving him to return back to his own country penniless and in disgrace.

How to avoid being a Minvestor? It’s surprisingly easy . Generally avoid bars. Unless you really know what you are doing, they are the opposite of a cash cow. Also somewhere like Pattaya needs another bar like a street dog needs a few more fleas. Ask around, check with a few other expats who have been here a while. Check also the Thailand forums on the internet. Iif you are buying a property, seek professional advice. Piece of cake. Also, you have plenty of money to invest, I’ve got just the thing for you…..